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When you run up the score with a 109 points, Diamond Dave must honor you with a game ball. Congratulations on breaking the league record of 99 points set in the past. The kiss of death is now on you and your team. Sincerely, Diamond Dave.

In the event you elect to acquire a player form free agency or from the waiver wire, you must inform the league office what player you will be waiving away. It's very important that you disclose the player's full name, position, NFL Team, what year you acquire the player and the salary amount. If this information is not provided, you may not be awarded the player of interest.

LDFFL Commissioner, David Holtsclaw

Diamond Dave,

Didn't I read this same crap about my draft grade last year? And, did I prove you wrong? Here is my prediction: I will win my Division, and defeat your team, Pontchartrain Whitecaps, in the 2004 playoffs!!! As you can tell, I'm pretty pissed off!!! Will you please post my opinion for the entire League to read?

Like my fellow owner, Mr. Defillo, I find the predictions asserted by "Diamond Dave" and local beat reporter, "Lucky Lee" a bit unschooled, bitter and outright ridiculous. To those of us that actually prepare for this league in the business- like sense it deserves, you must all know that the value of the receiver, and thus the Run and Shoot formation, has increased in value this year within our milieu. With the five-yard rule being enforced like Bush's Patriot Act for the upcoming season, receivers will be breaking free and making catches down the field like never before.

For my organization, which maintains a concentration of players from the NFL's current dynasty team, Corey Dillon will be well settled by 15-20 touches per game. This means that the Patriots will be going long and often in 2004. Anyways, why would one as schooled as I am on the subject come to such a conclusion? Because Troy Brown was reduced to the # 3 receiver and will play defensive back in Nickel packages. This is because he is older and slower and can't get down the field like in years past. Therefore, the number 1 and 2 receivers, Givens and Branch respectively, will be going down the field often as will the ball. The team that I have been watching in the pre-season and at several training camps are going long this year. Therefore, Mr. Givens, who starts for the Aggression and the New England Patriots (Super Bowl 36 & 38 Champions) will be the hottest pick of this year's draft. Chad Johnson on the other hand was first in the AFC last year and 5th overall in receiving yards and touchdowns. I can't begin to explain the year he will have since no one else on the team has the ability to even run routes much less catch the football. And of course with Terrell Owens, say what you want but if you had the chance and the cap room, you would have him on your team....unless you don't know anything about the game. Further to this point, three of the top rated Tight Ends in this league are on my team. Combined with the new 5 yard rule enforcement, these players are more valuable than any #2 RB's on most teams in our league.

Be prepared as Frances unleashes her fury today on the Northeast and the cold wind signaling Fall approaches from the North. The Aggression is back and unstoppable this year. This is the year. Don't be bitter Senor Commissioner, you lost Chad Johnson fair and square. It is a business, not personal, you have to let it go and move on!

Enjoy the season!

Danny "Bucky" Holtsclaw
Owner/General Manager
Northern Aggression Football, Inc.

Diamond Dave,

As you can see you were wrong again!! 72 points this week, the second highest points in the league. You predicted that the Storm Troopers might pull this one out by 5 points, Well WRONG again, they only lost by 42 points. And for washed up Curtis Martin's 196 yards, and 2 TD's, if that is washed up, I take washed up players anytime. Well, now we know that you won't be going to Las Vegas anytime soon. Maybe you should stick to Trading Spaces.

Washed Up A&B

Diamond Dave,

The infamous game ball has been lost. I invited Pat Evans over for a BBQ and to watch the game, and I told him the ball was chocolate. He took the bait
and ate the ball. This was done because I feel the ball is cursed, sorta like the Saints. If you go back and check, with the exception of the Bushwackers,
the other 3 teams have lost following the game ball award. Thats 75%, and no matter how well or bad we do, any game ball destined for our team can be given
to another team of your choosing.

Troy Williams

Gentlemen,

I just returned from an interview with coach defillo, of the intruders. I asked him, "What brought about his teams turn around in the last two weeks?"

Coach defillo told me he called his team together before last Sundays game against the bushwackers, and reminded them who they were. He stated he told his team that they would always be the underdog, but they shouldn�t play like one.

Coach defillo stated he told his team to just hold their heads up and play Intruder football. He stated he just didn�t talk he said he went out and signed two new players to the team's roster, Eric Johnson and Amos Zereoue, who should help the team.

Coach defillo said now that his team has beat up on two of the league�s best teams, he wanted his team to focus on winning the games they should win. He stated if they do this, his team can make the playoffs for the third straight year!

Do what I do T.D. Tell your team that you have a plan to win, by constantly complaining about other team's successes. But remember! Never reveal your plan, as you don't really have one to reveal. This is what I do during my debates with "W".

Regards,

Johnny Kerry

10-27-04

Dear Diamond Dave,

As owner and GM of the Flaming Unics organization, along with GAT III, we would like to thank you for your support after our recent loss of running back Priest Holmes. How does one get his information published on Inside the Bun? I would expect nothing other than a selfish gesture from the owner of the Los Bastards when he acquired our best player through default. Yes, it was my oversight. I allowed Priest Holmes to reach the waiver wire, but it was only because I was not aware of the rules when I was thrown into the loop after the recent death of my fellow owner George A. Tessier III (GAT). And yes, Mr. Commissioner, it was you who reminded me to read the rules because the information concerning player personnel was in the rules. Having never been involved in Fantasy Football, it sure left a bitter taste in my mouth after losing my best player under these circumstances. You know, it's kind of funny how someone can use another person's weaknesses to their advantage. Given the circumstances of this situation, and concurring with the Commissioner, I, as well as I'm sure most of the reputable owners in this LDFFL would have done exactly what you suggested when this tragedy hit the Flaming Unics organization.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear! At this point and time, I am not looking for sympathy from anyone.........I am just expressing my feelings concerning this matter.
As far as the Los Bastards recent acquisition of Mr. Holmes, I wish them all the luck in the world with my star player, but I don't think Priest Holmes, alone, is going to make them a winning team. I, too, would have to agree, after scrutinizing the Los Bastards organization, that their owner lacks the ability to recognize talent until he sees it on someone else's team. Thank God David Jays is not my accountant.
I would be willing to bet next years entry fees against those Bastards, that upon completion of this season the Flaming Unics, in honor of GAT III, will whip their asses. One more thing! Whatever the stakes are, you can count us in.

You have my permission to print this letter verbatim.

Thank you,

10-27-04

Compassion..??...there's no compassion in football. We did what any other team would have done if given the chance. We pounced on a starting avaliable player on
the waiver wire. If im correct it looks like the Flaming Unics beat the Pont. Whitecaps in Week 5 without Priest Holmes. Also, in Week 6 AND 7 it looks like the Flaming Unics dont need OUR COMPASSION.
COMPASSION doesnt exist in football....

THE BASTARDS,
CHRIS AND DAVID

DIAMOND DAVE,

NOW THAT WEEK 8 HAS COME TO AN END, THE ZOMBIES FEEL THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO RESPOND TO THE LEAGUE WEBSITE. LETS START WITH "INSIDE THE BUN," DIAMOND DAVE HASN'T PICK THE ZOMBIES TO WIN A GAME IT SEEMS SINCE 1999. WHY YOU HATIN'
ON THE ZOMBIES. EVEN THIS WEEK, ANOTHER PREDICTED LOSS AFTER WE WON A LEAGUE HIGH 4 GAMES IN A ROW. LETS LOOK DEEPER INTO THAT WINNING STREAK THAT IS NOW AT 5 GAMES. WE BEAT THE PONCHARTRAIN "BLOW"CAPS AND THE MIGHTY NORTHERN ESTROGEN, WHO ARE THE TEAM OWNERS LET'S SEE, THE HOLTSCLAW BROTHERS, STRANGE. WE ARE NOW SITTING ON TOP OF THE LEAGUE WITH A 6-2 (3-0 DIVISION) RECORD ALONG WITH THE UNICS. WE PLAY ANOTHER DIVISIONAL FOE NEXT WEEK IN THE WILLIEWACKERS, A TEAM WHO WILL BE WITHOUT MANY OF THEIR PLAYERS AND AFTER WINNING NEXT WEEK WE
ALL BUT LOCK UP THE DIVISION. WILL DIAMOND DAVE PICK US TO WIN, F@*K NO! I BELIEVE WE MADE A SIMILAR STATEMENT A FEW YEARS AGO WHEN WE WON THE LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP, I DO BELIEVE THIS YEAR WILL HAVE THE SAME OUTCOME. NO TEAM IS AS SOLID AS THE MIGHTY ZOMBIES. WE HAVE TWO SOLID QUARTERBACKS, ONE ALL-PRO RUNNING BACK, A RECIEVING CORE THAT IS AS DEEP AS ANY ROSTER IN THE LEAGUE AND LED BY FUTURE HALL OF FAMER MARVIN HARRISON. A DEFENSE THAT IS RANKED IN THE TOP 5 AND TWO SOLID KICKERS. WILL WE GET RESPECT, WE WILL SOON FIND OUT. DIAMOND DAVE, WE WILL BE BOYCOTTING THE GAME BALL THIS WEEK, THE ONLY AWARD WE WANT IS THE CHAMPIONSHIP.
PLEASE POST AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, THE OWNERS OF THE 6-2 ZOMBIES,
THE KELLER BROTHERS